Cultural

As America marks another Independence Day, we reflect upon what America's become in those 234 years since it told Great Britain to go fak herself when it adopted the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776. No, Virginia, July 4^th's not about fireworks, bbqs, and waving American flags made in China as the average American seems to believe. We contemplate the true intentions of the founding fathers, so often referenced by the religiwhacks who wrongly insist that America is a Christian nation, especially when they're trying to force their falsified version of history into public school textbooks in Texas. We must ask ourselves: "If you're so certain the founding fathers intended America as a Christian nation, then why the fak do you feel it necessary to rewrite history? But, it seems one must rewrite history when actual history doesn't quite match the bullshit you're trying to peddle as history."  

As some of you may have noticed, I have been absent from this site for a few months now, so Antigone was constantly winging in coming up with a new story. She claims that I lost my mojo and cannot write anymore. As usual, she's wrong. I do have what it takes to write another story and I don't even need palm notes like Sarah Palin to remember what to write or say. I don't even have to think hard about what to write these days. All I have to do is think of Sarah and her TEA Party supporters.

I've about had it with these religiwhacks trying every which way to jam their holy intentions down my throat. While I find the bumper sticker bearing, Tea Party attending Christian fundamentalist activists wholeheartedly obnoxious and intolerable, I've come to discover I'm more irritated by those who adopt the more subtle, seemingly innocent approach to raping you with their religion as part of their subconscious need to save the non-believers from ourselves and recruit us into their cause.

In its attempt to more successfully market the cheap andplentiful cod substitute, pollack, British supermarket Sainsbury's will now call it by its French name ‘colin.' While pollack caught in British waters isin great demand with the French as ‘colin,' British consumers aren't as impressed. Retailers believe shoppers are embarrassed to ask for pollack because of its widely known reputation as a cheaper white fish than cod in the same way people may not be proud to show off their generic or private label goods over well-known national brands. 

I don't know how much sense this revamped marketing plan makes though.

Get married or you’re fired! Something uttered by a new version of the obnoxious Donald Trump on his famed reality show The Apprentice? No, afraid not. This is the threat issued to singleworkers at Iran’sstate-owned Pars Special Economic Energy Zone Company which controls the gas and petrochemical network along the Gulf. Shockingly: a screwy policy in Iran – home of the ‘fashion police,’  that go about harassing both citizens and foreign visitors alike for dressing too un-Islamically with such violations cited as ‘showing too much hair’ or wearing a color they deem too bright.

Tragically I must report I’m mourning the loss of my oldestand dearest friend’s brain – not to illness or accident but rather to religion.Yes, I’m beside myself with grief over the news that my once logical, sensible, intelligent, parallel-thinking friend has fallen prey to societal pressures and joined a Catholic church. OH THE HORROR! What’s even worse is that she actually believes this is good for her and will make her a better person. I’m still trying to figure out what was wrong with the person she already was. Upon delivering the tragic news ever so proudly, she then audaciously suggested that perhaps I should consider doing the same in order to find ‘happiness and direction in life.’ At that point, I knew her mind was lost forever. Disheartened and distraught not strong enough language for the way I feel over such horrible news.