My BUMper says: Real Men Love Meows ©

I am sure that you have all seen vehicles having various bumper stickers. Some of them indicate visited places, like I LUV NY or messages like Baby on Board. In general, I have no problem with that. After all, we do live in a democratic society where freedom of speech is paramount.

However, I get extremely upset with a significant amount of stickers which can be found on vehicles driven by certain types of people. As I have said, we all have our own beliefs and they should be respected. However for some reason I cannot stomach stickers which carry swear words and have been designed to offend. For instance, Antigone once told me about this little woman driving a Hummer with a very nasty sticker: "F**k You Tree Hugger, I love my Hummer". Perhaps she was into hummers, that is why she could afford a Hummer. However, I fail to see what does a Tree Hugger have to do with a BJ, unless her ex boyfriend was a Greenpeace member and she hold a grudge against him.

What about all those military types who have several "If you do not stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them" stickers all over the vehicles bums? What does that mean exactly? Of course I want all the troops to come back from the war alive. But, perhaps, they should replace those stickers with: "I stand behind my troops. Bring 'em back Dabia". That I'd agree with. What if I make microwave ovens for a living and I start displaying messages like: "If you do not stand behind my ovens, feel free to stand inside them". Do you think that people will appreciate it?

Perhaps the worst of all are the religious stickers. Again, there are many of those which are OK. They are not offensive. Even if I fail to see the point of having Jesus or the Christian fish at the back of the vehicle, I can accept it. After all, I also have a bumper sticker, the Darwin Fish, to show to people that I believe in evolution and science.

However I get extremely upset when I see stickers with: "Real Men Love Jesus". What the FAK does that mean? Is this some sick sexual connotation? I sincerely hope that it has nothing to do with necrophilia. What it probably means is that only true Jesus believers are real men. By the way, what is the definition of a real man? Do they mean a wife beater? A guy who can drink a case of beers in an hour watching NASCAR? Perhaps it is a sensitive guy who can deal with everyday issues in an efficient manner. Who knows.

And what if you are a secular humanist like me? Does that make me a homosexual? Last time I checked, I still liked women. Sorry but I believe that sexuality is hard-wired in our genes. Therefore, I was born male and I always liked females. Sorry about that. I consider myself to be a real man and a complete atheist.

Perhaps I should start my own stickers: "REAL MEN LOVE MEOWS ©". Observe the copyright sign. It is important. I came up with it OK? It is mine, mine. Anyway, I hope that the regular readers of this site have enough IQ to understand the message. I would have already tried to sell the stickers but they may offend a significant part of the male population who have different sexual preferences to mine. They are still real men. They can deal with many issues very efficiently and a lot of them are extremely bright, capable, liberal by definition and sensitive towards the fellow human beings. Anyway, I am not going to write a story about sexual preferences. That will be covered later, hopefully by our new editorial member.

Have a good one and remember: If real men love meows, real women love dolphins ©.