Welcome to Monolithic Insanity

Like many others these days, I had to move because of my job. So I ended up in a cubicle. Naturally, I instantly got interested in who came up with that monstrosity. A few months ago, I happened to read an article in Fortune regarding this issue so after a quick search of my bookmarks, I found the story. Interestingly, the inventor of the cubicle, before his 2000 death denounced his creation by calling it 'monolithic insanity.'

Like most things in life, his creation started as something else. At that time it was a great idea, but of course, it has evolved to into a life of its own like cancerous cells eating alive everything around them. The only difference between a cubicle and cancer is that the former became like the latter because of economics.

Corporations realised that it was more economical for them to stick the non-important work-force in cubes and save lots of space. Granted, space overheads are expensive but why do people have to be like sardines from 9-5, Mon-Fri in ugly boxes? Why do cubicle walls have to be so short that you can see everybody without even standing up?

Of course, HR morons come up with a myriad of excuses why cubicles are good for a company. As I said, the most obvious is cutting down overhead by optimizing space. But there are a lot more 'good' reasons as to why we have to be stuck in cubicles. An obvious one is to reduce the use of Internet and e-mail for personal use. Granted, some employees abuse the system, but most people enjoy having a quick break to check the latest BBC news; and at the end, if you do not want your employees to check certain web sites, just install a freakin' firewall.

HR morons backed by CEOs and VPs think that employees become more productive by reducing the use of Internet and sticking people in cubicles so that there is no privacy. This is the bottom line. Corporations want us to have zero privacy at work. They want us to work on their shit and take breaks when they want us to, instead of when we want to. That is one of the cubicle's main purpose: to make people 'ashamed' of doing anything but their work.

I can see the logic, but guess what, you HR stupid fak? If I do not want to do my job, I'll find a million ways not to do my job. Jee, I will even go to the toilet and play with my dolphin. Why do you have to know what I am doing constantly? As long as I deliver my milestones and keep my customers happy, you can suck my dolphin. And by the way, how many HR morons or CEOs or VPs actually sit in a cubicle? Not many, I suppose.

Why is it so difficult, Mr HR, to realise that it is actually OK to spend a little bit of time on the Internet or talk to my friend on the phone or even fart without everybody knowing? Why is it so difficult to realise that a happy employee is a productive employee? But of course, your little brain is incapable of logical thinking. That is why you do what you do. I mean, come on. How many normal / bright people would like to get a degree in HR?

Of course, as long as HR fakers exist we are doomed to live in Dilbert-ville surrounded by ugly monolithic structures where privacy is non-existent. Funny, but last time I did a reality check, I was not living in a communist country where 'communal' is king. I was living in a Western society. There is either something that I completely fail to understand here or this democracy / privacy thingy that they teach us in school is a bunch of non-existent baloney.