Big Hummers and Silicon Breasts

These days I am on holidays in Athens, Greece. I haven't been there for over a year and since a good friend was getting married, I thought it was finally the time to fly across the Atlantic. For people who have travelled on both sides of that ocean, several things become apparent. In general, Europe is more expensive and things are smaller. Houses are smaller and of course cars are smaller. In general, vehicles with engines over 1.8-2.0 Lt are considered big. We have Renaults, Fiats, Scodas.

In North America, vehicles are just bigger. I think that the only car under 2 lt is the Audi A4 1.8 Turbo edition, which happens to be a German car. Most American cars have huge engines which drink gasoline like some Hollywood actors consume drugs. Although I do not do any of them (I even stopped smoking recently) I drive a Jeep Liberty 3.7 Lt, which is small for N. American standards but huge for European ones. To be honest, I have nightmares that I am destroying the environment and Mother Nature is coming to punish me (and I do not mean the kinky part of punishment that we all like...). That is why I am planning to get a smaller vehicle fairly soon.

You can imagine my shock and horror when I started going around Athens. That place is full of SUVs. They are everywhere. Jeep Liberties, Rav4s, Cayennes, X5s. I even saw a Hummer in the middle of Athens. What the FAK? I am surprised that they do not run out of petrol during the everyday traffic jam. Why would people need such a vehicle in a big city? It is not that we get snowed in every year. It happens now and then and when it happens the roads are completely closed, even for SUVs. I am really wondering what is the purpose of them all.

Needless to say that all drivers were males; which makes me wonder if those people suffer from some kind of inadequacy. Perhaps they need a big and powerful vehicle because their dolphin is kinda petite. After all, it is well known that for many male drivers, their vehicle is considered to be an extension of their peepee. I bet that when they stepped on the gas they feel like sleeping with a blond bimbo with a double D cup size. For some reason I would not be surprised if they want their partners to have silicon implants, as well. I am almost certain that they have wet dreams about big breasted bimbos inside their gargantuan Hummers playing with their baby dolphins.

I have always tried to understand the main reason for this stupidity. What is it that drives some men to like big Hooters and Hummers? What is wrong with B (or C) cup and an Audi A3? I personally think that they are both sexier than silicon and huge 4x4s. But that's me and at the end of the day I do drive a Jeep instead of an A3; one mistake I am hoping to fix in the near future.

But, but, but I still haven't found the reason for this male fixation. I can only blame evolution and the male fixation with their lower member. For some reason, they think that if their dolphin is bigger then it is better. Sorry, but all the girlfriends I had, were always complaining that it was too big. They never said that it should have been bigger; on the contrary.

Besides this joke, I am sure you can understand what I mean. As men, we are fixated with Hummers, silicon implants and anything big because we have an issue with our peepee. I think that is time to face the truth and realise that the majority of males have adequate anatomy and they do not need to project it by driving bigger and faster cars.

I see this behaviour and I wonder how it is possible for many people not to believe in evolution and the fact that homo sapiens are yet another primate and a descendant of the monkey. Once again, our daily behaviour is the best possible evidence of Darwin's theory.