Americas

As some of you may have noticed, I have been absent from this site for a few months now, so Antigone was constantly winging in coming up with a new story. She claims that I lost my mojo and cannot write anymore. As usual, she's wrong. I do have what it takes to write another story and I don't even need palm notes like Sarah Palin to remember what to write or say. I don't even have to think hard about what to write these days. All I have to do is think of Sarah and her TEA Party supporters.

Surely, some of you have heard Sarah Palin had mistaken South Africa for a continent rather than a country. I do not know if this is true but I wouldn't be the least bit surprised.  However, the average American's ignorance of the outside world is downright astonishing. It's not a secret that many N. Americans do not know much about the world and seems damn proud of it. Check, for instance, this Youtube video. I am sure that this is not representative of the people, especially MY American friends, but the fact remains that there are many Americans who know nothing about the world, as this link further proves.

When someone really faked off my dad, his most common and fiercest reply was "Why don't you go fak yourself and see how that works out for you?" In the spirit of that feeling, I take the liberty of tweaking it a bit to apply to the latest row between Google and my favorite place on earth: China. You know, China, where the internet is free, and the rest of us are being unreasonable imperialist faks.

Unfortunately, the title is not referring to a skilled sniper waiting on the top of a building targeting you because your own government leaked your CIA ‘secret’ identity to get to your husband; that would have been a really cool story if it could have ever happened in real life….I am referring to guys sitting at the top of tall buildings wearing fancy suits and sitting around board room tables talking about how to save their company big bucks, putting more money in their own wallets, and denying you health care coverage, all at the same time.

At the moment, everyone is focusing on what they think is wrong with the new health care reform bill so I thought I would take some time to focus on what is totally faked up with the current private insurance business.

To document the passing of another Halloween, it is only appropriate to talk about the ‘Hell House’ craze which was originally started by Jerry Fallwell and has now spread throughout the US. Thanks religious fanatics for another awesome scare tactic/guilt trip to send more people into religion-induced states of brain inactivity! The more crap like this starts to pop up around the US the less it becomes “fanaticism” and the more it becomes the “norm” which to me is scary as hell!

Congratulations to these Christians for actually frightening an atheist with some of your contrived bullsh*t. Ok, it didn’t scare me into being religious and worrying about “being saved” but now I’m faking terrified about my actual life, the one I have now!

So here I was on a lazy Saturday morning barely awake switching on my brand new Bravia for the latest international news as I was smelling the freshly brewed Colombian coffee.  It seemed very pleasant outside and I was looking forward to the nice warm weather and a walk by the beach. I was thinking about the fun I'd have for the rest of the day far away from my cubicle when all of a sudden my tranquillity was interrupted by something that sounded like a big explosion. For a microsecond I felt like I was in the middle of Kabul. I looked at the TV in case BBC was showing the latest Taliban attack, but to my avail, it was showing the latest results from the Ashes. Then another loud bang almost made me dropped my precious coffee on my Polo robe. ‘What The Flying FAK', I thought? I was neither living in Kabul nor in Baghdad and BBC was just showing freaking cricket!

The completely juvenile and unintelligent open letter written by Lou Pritchett to President Barack Obama speaks for itself. 

However, if you were looking for a few good arguments to sock those republicans at the office around with, I thought I would offer a rebuttal to Mr. Lou’s faking joke of a letter.

Dear President Obama:
"You are the thirteenth President under whom I have lived and unlike any of the others, you truly scare me."  I suppose this is your declarative statement to give yourself credibility and intimidate people into believing your bullsh*t.  I’ve only lived under 5 presidents, does that mean I’m only 5/13ths as knowledgeable as you on the subject?  All I can say, at least some people do research before running their faking mouths!